Miss Strong
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This is me, and nothing gonna change me.

Assalamualaikum and hi...


I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, and yes, no one is perfect. Everybody make mitakes. But we can't blame ourself for what we have done. Past is past. I am out of control and at times hard to handle.  This is me, and nothing gonna chane me. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. I love my life, my family and my friends. They're too important to me. They're a part of my life. And they're not even perfect too. But I'm glad to have them and I know they can accept me for who I am. 
I do have haters, and I'm sure everyone has. They hate us for their reason. This is what we call "no one is perfect". We can't even stop them from do what they want to. Am I right? So that's why we need a lot of patience. Maybe they were good in lying, but I swear to God that karma will hit them back, one day.  God will never let you down.. but people will. Sometimes, I admit that I hate being their haters. I want my old life back, I want to be a girl that always know how to be happy, I want my freedom, I need my own privacy.  And please, stop pretending like you know everything about me. If only they know my feelings... hmmm. Sometimes, I feel I do not want to know them at all. But I know I can't never turned back. Life goes on no matter what happen.  I do not blame them for what they had done to me, I just wonder how lifeless they are. 
Bittersweet memories may hurt, but they've made us who we are. We can never go back, but we wouldn't trade the memories for anything. I envy those who act like nothing is wrong when their whole world is turned upside down. Sometimes I feel like want to scream, yell, and throw things. But I won't. Why? Because I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of breaking me completely. I know, God will never give us anything that we can't handle, so why stress?
 They call me hypocryte and so on, oh wait... Do they know they're even hypocrite than me? So yeah, that's life. I can't do anything. They always judge people without mirror themselves. My life is my rights. And they have no right to judge me or even talk something bad about me. They can give me some advice, but it doesn't mean they can simply judge me without knowing me at all. It is so not fair right? Oh god.  
Sabar je lahh... haihh. Dah kalau semua asyik fikir nak menang je memang sampai bila-bila lah macam ni kan. Dua-dua dapat dosa. Okay itu memang adil. Saya tak kacau hidup sesiapa, tak pernah. Awak dan awak semua yang timbulkan masalah. Don't you realize that buddy? Oh come on... I had such a great life before, but it suddenly changed when I know you. 

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Awak selalu fikir awak je yang bagus, awak selalu menilai orang, cakap buruk pasal orang, tapi awak sedar tak diri awak lagi teruk daripada orang yang awak nilai tu? Yes, seriously. Oh awak lah yang paling baik sekali dalam dunia ni, awak lah yang paling perfect dalam dunia ni sampai awak tak sedar yang awak dah memalukan diri awak sendiri. Orang boleh tahu perkara-perkara buruk yang ada dalam diri awak tu based on your status. Awak terlalu sibuk menilai orang sampaikan awak tak sedar yang awak dah buat orang muak dengan sikap awak. Mula-mula memang saya boleh sabar, tapi bila dah lama? Saya bukan budak kecik yang awak boleh pijak kepala saya sesuka hati awak. Awak cerita dekat semua orang keburukan saya, awak cakap yang bukan-bukan pasal saya, awak busy body life saya, sometimes saya sangat-sangat hilang sabar dengan awak. Awak jadi batu api, awak sentiasa nak jatuhkan saya, awak pernah nak rosakkan hubungan saya, tapi apa? Awak gagal kan? Sebab apa? Sebab ALLAH itu maha adil. Saya tak tahu sama ada awak perasan awak tidak, disebabkan tindakan bodoh awak sendiri yang buat kita jadi macam ni? Tolonglah, berfikiran matang. Orang lain tak kan boleh ubah diri awak melainkan awak sendiri. Saya tak pernah libatkan sesiapa dalam hal yang tak penting macam ni. Tapi awak sebaliknya. Masalah yang kecik, boleh jadi besar hanya disebabkan mulut awak. Mengadu dekat orang pandai, nak settle kan masalah sendiri tak pandai. Saya tak kan berkelakuan yang tidak sopan terhadap awak unless if you force me to do so. Dulu masa awak cuba bermacam-macam cara untuk rosakkan hubungan saya, saya marah kan? Sekarang, bila ada orang lain nak buat benda yang sama macam apa yang awak buat dekat saya, lagi lah awak melenting. Macam-macam ayat buruk yang keluar daripada mulut awak. Itu bermakna awak faham apa yang saya rasa dulu bila awak buat macam tu dekat saya. Saya ingat awak betul-betul ikhlas nak berkawan dengan saya, tapi tak sangka pulak itu balasan yang saya dapat balik. Kadang-kadang saya terfikir, manusia jenis apa lah awak ni. Takde perasaan langsung. So fikir balik, siapa yang timbulkan masalah? Siapa yang hypocrite? Siapa troublemaker? Saya, atau awak? THINK. Tapi saya bersyukur, disebabkan awak, saya boleh jadi kuat sampai macam ni sekali. Saya faham, mungkin ada sebab yang buat awak jadi macam ni. Saya tak tahu apa yang buat awak tak puas hati sangat dengan saya tapi yang penting, saya tak pernah kacau hidup awak. Dan kalau awak fikir saya rampas orang yang awak sayang, awak salah. Sebab saya tak pernah rampas sesiapa pun daripada awak. And I'm sorry for all my wrong doing towards you. TYSM, Syazwani...

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